We all have crappy thoughts, that can lead to crappy mornings, that can lead to crappy days. If we’re not careful they can lead to crappy weeks, months, and before we know it, we are living a crappy life.
This can be even more compounding, when running a business or at home with the kids, because our mood sets the tone for how productive we are as well as how others respond to us.
Something that comes up a lot for people I’m working with, and we are discussing at the moment in our Emerge Life Fulfilment Program, is how do we turn that around.
There seems to be a notion going around that we should be able to just “snap out of it”. And sometimes it is a helpful strategy… often however, this just leads to feeling more hopeless and like more of a failure because not only do you feel crappy, but apparently everyone else can snap out of it, so why can’t you?!?
So… I have put together a few ways that can help us to change the state we are in, for one that works better for us at the time, and can turn around a slippery slope.
Music is such an awesome way to change the way we are experiencing the world, because it has all sorts of associations already created in our brains. This can work any way you like… if you need a good cry, you can choose music that will indulge and free your sadness, to come to the surface.
Music with a good beat, inspiring lyrics or even awesome memories, can be very useful if you want to life yourself out of a funk, and get some groove back into your day! It really is magic!
There is a human truth that we know, that “physiology creates psychology”. Yes, the way we hold ourselves reflects the way we feel a lot of the time, and it also works the other way around. If we are slouching, looking down, arms crossed – we will feel low energy, down and closed off… Try it!
Now stand tall, shoulders back, head up and smile… notice the difference? The way we hold our bodies and move through our day, tells our minds how to feel. Little mini dance parties are a great way to combine both of these first two elements and have fun while you’re at it.
3. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
If you are in a spiral about what is going on, then change it… Go for a walk, eat lunch in the park, watch an inspiring video on Youtube, or talk to someone who can help.
This works both in the moment, and in terms of life long issues. Everything we are doing is a choice… so either choose to do it with purpose, or do something different.
4. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!!
A great way to continue feeling a certain way, is to talk about it. If you are excited and proud of something you have done, you will tell everyone about it, including yourself (quite a few times), which prolongs and anchors that feeling for you. It works the same way about things you don’t like.
If you find yourself talking about what you are not happy about in your life quite a bit, even to yourself… maybe it’s time to stop. Only when we stop talking about what we don’t like, can we have the head space to create it a different way. There is a quote that “you cannot solve the current problem, with the thinking that got you there”.
5. OPEN UP TO THE POSSIBILITIES
“If I didn’t feel this way, how could I choose to feel?” is such a powerful question. Any variation of this theme works well “If I wasn’t stressed about this issue, what could I do about it?”.
All these questions open us up to finding the answer… finding the way out of where we are right now, because as long as we are sitting right in it and facing the wall, we cannot find the door.
Explore the opportunities that ARE available to you – there are a lot more than you think!
An excellent way to tackle a mood that has taken hold, is to visualise how you want things to be. Often we stay in the mood we are in, because we aren’t seeing another way. We get bogged down in detail, fear and worry, as well as pounding ourselves for not being good enough. Picture what you do want it to be like, to feel like, and then you can make some small (or big) steps towards that.
7. SEEK SUPPORT
Speak to a friend, colleague or someone you trust to hear you and support you through. Sometimes what we really need is to get it all out, and to be truly heard and understood, in order to move on. I know this seems in contradiction to number 4, however there is a big difference between perpetuating the drama of an issue, and having a real, honest and open discussion about what is going on, so that you can see it all in front of you and make the choices you need to make, in order to move forward.
If you are experiencing an ongoing struggle, and are having a hard time, please seek professional support. It is important to look after yourself and not just pass it off as normal or that you should somehow be able to “suck it up”! These strategies work when we are feeling sorry for ourselves or are having a bad day. If it becomes more than that, please get support. Seeking help is a sign of strength, and that you know every aspect of your life deserves the best of you. You don’t have to do this on your own!
You can call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or message me and I will get in touch with you ASAP.